S1 E9: Disordered Eating, Body Image, Social Media, Navigating Hashimoto's And Recovery With Ali Bonar
In today’s episode I talk to Ali Bonar @alibonar. Ali is CEO and co-founder of Oat Haus, a food company on a mission to bring fun & play to food.
Summary
Taylor Rae, interviews Ali Bonarfrom Oat House. They explore Bonar's eating disorder journey, social media's impact on body image, and living with Hashimoto's in Cleveland with fiance Eric and dog Squishy. Bonar recounts a kindergarten bullying incident, emphasizing the widespread nature of food-related outsider feelings, her UC Berkeley to entrepreneurship transition, creativity and more. She stresses therapy, coaching, podcasts as resources, and diverse viewpoints' importance for growth.
Key Moments
Podcast, Eating disorders, Social media, Body image (00:00:06 - 00:04:05)
Taylor Rae discusses the first season of 'On the Outside' while interviewing Ali Bonar of Oat House, available in Target and Whole Foods. They explore Ali's journey with eating disorders, the impact of social media on body image, and living with Hashimoto's in Cleveland with fiance Eric and dog Squishy. Ali shares her struggle for an intuitive food relationship and recounts a kindergarten bullying incident, emphasizing the widespread nature of feeling like an outsider due to food issues.Eating Disorders, Social Media, Oat House, Entrepreneurship (00:04:10 - 00:40:59)
Ali Bonar, founder of Oat House and granola Butter, recounts her transition from UC Berkeley to entrepreneurship in Cleveland, emphasizing her creativity, upbringing in Japan, and love for her dog Squishy. She discusses her battles with eating disorders, intuitive eating, and the negative impact of social media on body image. Bonar stresses the significance of therapy, coaching, and podcasts for expert advice. She also talks about managing Hashimoto's disease and the importance of diverse viewpoints for personal and professional growth.
Transcription
1. Mon Ali.mp3
Taylor Rae Almonte-Roman
Hey, hey, this is Taylor Ray and it's another episode of on the outside. Hello and welcome back. I am as always so excited to bring you today's episode. I knew when I started this podcast right off the bat that I had to do an interview with Ali. She is amazing. I was actually on her podcast a couple of years ago and it's just a very full circle moment getting to have her on mine this week has been, I've actually been on spring break from grad school.
So that has been a very nice little pause, little moment, mostly just not having to commute from Brooklyn up to Columbia has been amazing love that for me, but I have been doing a lot of editing. We're coming towards the end of our first season. I can't believe it. There's only, I think four weeks left, which is absolutely wild, but still that is 12 episodes because, you know, your girl releases three times a week who told her to do that.
I don't know, but she did it and we're almost at the finish line, but it has been such an amazing experience bringing you this season. And we're not done yet. In today's episode, I talk to Ali Bonar. Ali is CEO and co founder of Oat House, a food company on a mission to bring fun and play to food. Their flagship product granola butter is a world's first oat based spread after struggling with multiple eating disorders for over a decade, lie shares openly about her journey to help others know that they're never alone. Oat House is sold at over 3000 stores nationwide including Target Whole Foods and more. Ali lives in Cleveland with her fiance, Eric and their dog squishy. In today's episode, we talk about our relationships with our parents, the pressure of going away to college. Ali's experience with disordered eating what recovery means or might look like and how it's an ongoing process.
Social media's impact on body image. Ali's experience with the autoimmune condition, Hashimotos and so much more. Let's start it out as we always do by hearing about a time where Ali felt like she was an outsider.
Ali Bonar
Ok. I think the one that comes to mind most, I mean, actually, I guess it is a little funny but it's crazy how when people bully you, it's Sears into your memory like I don't even have memories this early except for this one. So I was in kindergarten and it's not like an elaborate story. It's very simple. But I remember I was like itching my nose and this girl in my kindergarten class which is funny because we're friends now and she's super nice and great.
But she pointed at me, it was like the, it was like, out of a sitcom. She pointed at me, she goes, Ally's picking her nose and everyone, like, you know, in the kindergarten class, this is what happened under my memory. Who knows if, like, what reality actually was, you know, everyone started laughing. Right. And I just felt like it was the class, like your face gets all red and like that, you know, embarrassing outsider story. and I was, I mean, I feel lucky that, like, I never was seriously bullied, but like, that was definitely one. And then second one I actually thought of too is, when I was struggling with food, you know, struggling with my body, I just remember feeling like an outsider constantly because I just, I was looking at everyone else and it felt like everyone around me had this easy, breezy, beautiful relationship with food intuitive, you know, they weren't thinking about it 24 7.
Like I was, and I just remember feeling so much like an outsider then, you know, sort of like I was the weird one. I had something wrong with me. I was broken and everyone else had it figured out. and, you know, now knowing what I know about my relationship with food and every other people's relationships with food. I know it's very common. But, yeah, that was like another one that, that popped up as well.
Taylor Rae Almonte-Roman
Let's get into our conversation.
Ali Bonar
So, hello everyone. Thanks for listening. I'm Ali Bonar. I am the founder of oat house. We make a product called granola Butter, which is this very weird idea that I thought of a few years ago, but it's the world's first oat based spread. So think like the texture of a nut butter but made from oats.
And I currently reside in the Midwest. never lived here before in Cleveland, just moved here about six weeks ago now. so we're going to be here for probably fiveish years depending on what happens with the business.
Taylor Rae Almonte-Roman, Ali Bonar
But, oh, wow, that's like a long term commitment right off the bat.
Taylor Rae Almonte-Roman
Ok.
Ali Bonar
Oh, yeah. Yeah. So we, we were in Philly before this for three years. and Philly was like, you know, we didn't know how long we were going to be there for. we were also there for a facility to anyone listening. Taylor already knows this. but then Cleveland, we also came for a facility but the facility here is big enough that, you know, we're going to be here till we sell the business pretty much, which, you know, knock on wood is no longer than five years from now because I'm so tired, I'm so burned out. but, yeah, but a little about me, you know, I love, I'm very creative which, I've realized later in life, like, I was actually strangely pre med in college, which was so hilarious. I hate blood. I hate sick people. I hate hospitals. but I was so risk averse. I was just like, I'm going to be a doctor. Like that's the safe path and now I'm on like, the least safe path. but I realized that later in life I realized I'm a very big feeler.
Like I suppressed a lot of my emotions early on with food or, you know, other coping mechanisms, alcohol. And now I just like really lean into it and I just, yeah, I feel big feelings. Those are some things. Yeah, you wouldn't know about me. Random random fun fact. I was born in Japan. My mom was a Navy dentist. That's always like my two truths and a lie. But we left when I was three. So I don't remember much.
Taylor Rae Almonte-Roman
Yeah, have a dog squishy Ali and I had to quickly bond over being dog moms before we got into our conversation.
I could have never ever imagined being like such a dog mom, like so hard in any conversation. If you let me talk about my dog, we could just do this podcast about our dogs. And honestly, I'd be thrilled.
I would be so happy. We really got into our conversation. It's taken it back to the beginning to our childhoods.
Ali Bonar
Yeah. Kind of random. I mean, we were only there for a few years, but my parents were there, like, they speak Japanese, they were there for a long time. They have a ton of friends there. And I was always, like, when I lived in San Francisco after college, I just had this weird era where I was like, I think, subconsciously I know Japanese.
So I started taking Japanese classes, like intro, you know, beginner language classes, thinking it was all going to come back to me. Absolutely not. I lasted probably two weeks and I was like, I'm out. This language is so hard. But yeah, that's so funny.
Taylor Rae Almonte-Roman
You were like, it's all gonna come rushing back and I'm just gonna have a moment and just be fluent in Japanese. I wish.
Ali Bonar
Yeah, I mean, it makes sense to me like my parents have home videos of me in a little kimono bowing, you know, counting to 10 in Japanese. So I'm like, it's all in there. I just don't know it yet, but yeah, unfortunately not, it wasn't, wasn't the case.
Taylor Rae Almonte-Roman
So I've talked so much both about and to my mom on this show.
Taylor Rae Almonte-Roman, Ali Bonar
So it'll be no surprise that we got onto the topic of parents.
Ali Bonar
Some would say it's maybe too close. My therapist definitely would. So, yeah, we, I feel like we were very enmeshed for a long time. Like codependent squishy relax. And I feel like over the years I've sort of regained my independence but still very close. especially with my mom. I think she's, you know, similar. It seems like to your guys' relationship, just like best friends, love being around her.
kind of, sometimes I would say more, she's like more of a friend than a mom, which, like, at certain times in my life I wish it was the opposite. But, I mean, we can get into it. But, yeah, my parents are great. They're, they come and help all the time in the facility and they're both retired. So they're just, like, living their best lives.
Taylor Rae Almonte-Roman
Yeah, I've seen pictures of your parents on your Instagram, which is what made me ask. I also, yeah, my mom is my best friend ever. I was at a, event a couple weeks ago and someone was talking about parenting, like the woman next to me, she had like, four kids and she was talking about parenting and I was like, oh, well, my mom is the best and then some people started hearing me and ended up being the entire table and me being like, my mom is my best friend to this entire table.
And afterwards I called my mom and I was like, mom, they definitely thought I was fully nuts. They just thought I was like, this 30 year old woman that, like, still lives with her mom, like, obsessed with you. which is really funny.
I asked lie to share more about her experience going away for college.
Ali Bonar
I went to school at UC Berkeley in the Bay area. So, yeah, Berkeley is just a very weird place like, which I loved because, like, weird in a good way because I remember, you know, I grew up in San Diego, very sheltered, like, very naive and I would, like, walk out the front door, you know, thinking like, oh, I'm wearing kind of an edgy outfit today, like it wasn't edgy at all.
Like I was wearing like ripped tights maybe. And then there'd be like a guy barefoot wearing a kilt walking by, you know, and I'm kind of like, ok, like Berkeley really brought me out of my shell in just such an amazing magical way. Because you feel like you can be as weird as you want there and no one cares because there's always going to be someone quote unquote weirder than you, you know.
So I love that. And I also, I feel like I got a lot of, or I just gained a lot of my independence and kind of figured out what my beliefs were because again, like, I was so enmeshed with my parents growing up and, you know, whatever they told me was like, right or wrong. I'm like, yeah, because you kind of look to your parents and put them on this pedestal and then, you know, you walk around the campus at Berkeley and there's just protests for everything and it's amazing because you see you're surrounded by all these people that have such strong beliefs in all different kinds of things. And even if you don't agree with it, it just, it showed me that passion for the first time of like, wow, like someone can stand up for what they believe in, in this way. So that was again, like really eye opening. But yeah, I had a great experience there.
Taylor Rae Almonte-Roman
Ali has been very open on podcasts and interviews on social media and even in her own origin story about her company Oat House, which I shared a little bit about at the beginning of this episode with her experience around eating disorders. The oat House origin story on their website talks about her experience studying nutrition at UC Berkeley. She writes the nutritional information overload, put pressure on me to eat perfectly clean all the time and caused food to become very rigid and stressful. Her website goes on to talk about her experience creating oat butter in recovery. I reintroduced nuts into my diet something I had restricted for years. It reads, but my stomach couldn't tolerate them while repairing my gut. I searched high and low for a healthy and delicious nut free spread. Nothing resonated with me. So I decided to create my own and the world's first oat based spread granola butter was born.
Ali Bonar
Yes, that was when I was pre-med.
That's when my eating disorder like really I would say started or just kind of, yeah, like peaked almost eating disorders come in many forms, binge eating, avoidant or restrictive food intake, focus on clean eating or desire to work out heavily eating non food items, purging food and more eating disorders can affect people of all ages, racial and ethnic backgrounds, body weights and genders.
Taylor Rae Almonte-Roman
Although eating disorders often appear during the teen years or young adulthood, they can also develop during childhood or really at any phase of life. The exact cause of eating disorders is not fully understood. But research suggests a combination of genetic, biological, behavioral, psychological and social factors which are all at play.
Ali Bonar
I was pre med, I struggled through my science classes like crazy. Like I was someone in high school, I mean, I got into Berkeley. So like I did decently well in my classes in high school. But it's like, you know, it's probably like you, like when you work hard at something you expect to do well or you expect to get a return. And it was the first time in my life, I had like three different tutors, you know, for physics and o chem and all these science classes and I failed.
Ok. You know, and then the second time I took it, I got ac minus like I barely passed and it was just this weird at the time. It's very traumatic, right? Like looking back, I kind of laugh because your major doesn't really matter most of the time, first time in my life I really failed at something like dramatically. And I think it was just such a knock to my ego because I'm like, what the hell like, I'm trying so hard and I just felt like I was swimming upstream.
And I remember one time we were, I was in my physics class and we were at our like final or midterm or something. And this guy, one of my guy friends sits next to me. He like reeks of booze, right? Like reeks of vodka. And he was the president of his frat. He was like captain of the Berkeley soccer team. He was also majoring in business like this guy was doing everything and he was showing up to this physics final, like basically wasted still. And I remember he just passed with flying
colors and I'm like something clicked in my brain. I'm like, I am just in the wrong major like this is just not the right path for me. And I should have known back then like, ay, you are creative, you love marketing, like you need to just switch. But again, I don't know everything happens in time. But I just persevered and I just kept at it and then I graduated with a science degree which I've never used a day in my life.
Taylor Rae Almonte-Roman
So there's that I asked Ally to talk a little bit more about when her relationship with eating started to shift.
Ali Bonar
I, I, I thought about this a lot, kind of trying to pinpoint back like in therapy and stuff, you know, it's like, where did it actually begin? I think there was little seeds planted a lot along the way. Right. And then there's like this catalyst that happens to speak in science terms. And that really just expedited the process, I'm really bringing in full circle.
But really, I would say the seeds planted were like, I grew up in a very fat phobic family, which I've talked to my parents about this. So I'm not like shitting on them. They know this and they're working on it, but it was also just that generation and it was our, I mean, you know, you're my age, I think like it was like the 17 magazine and like the America's next top model and just like the culture was very different and, you know, it was the, the Nicole Richie and the Lindsay Lohan and
Paris Hilton being like little, you know, needles and everyone glamorizing that like all of that were the seeds planted. And then I would say the catalyst was leaving my childhood home in the area for the first time in my life. you know, gaining independence, not knowing who I was trying to conform to, you know, figure out like what, who was I and then also, you know, being in this nutritional science, major, it was a lot, just a lot of focus on food, a lot of focus on nutrition. and then lastly, I remember there was this huge pressure around the freshman 15, like not gaining the freshman 15 and for whatever reason, like some people, it's kind of a joke. Right. And it, like, rolled up people's backs. And for me, it was really, I don't know, I just, I think the perfectionistic side of me, I took it so seriously and I was like, I'm gonna be, you know, I remember my dad saying something about not gaining the freshman 15 is a joke.
And I was like, oh, I can't like, it was like this, I don't know, deep rooted fear. And so I remember like coming home and I had lost the freshman 15 that first, you know, winter break after freshman year and the compliments that I got, I was just showered with compliments and just how confusing that was for my brain. And I know a lot of people experience that when they lose weight.
And actually recently I've lost weight and I talked about the semi stories. you know, just in luckily more of a healthy way because my th I have a thyroid issue and I've been getting that optimized, but also not a healthy way because I've been extremely stressed with like the move and the business and everything. And just again, it's in my dms, I'm getting showered with compliments and it's like, kind of this weird thing because at least for me, my brain, like, well, did I not look good before? You know, like, why are you placing more attention on my body now? So, I think that was really like the catalyst and then from there it just sort of snowballed and I was always chasing that high of getting showered with compliments. but that's like, yeah, that's where it all began.
Taylor Rae Almonte-Roman
I would say when I was in college, I took diet pills with my roommates and experienced a lot of stress and shame around my body. Sometimes it looked like restricting what I was eating or just constant thoughts about what I was eating and what I looked like. I shared a little bit of that with Ali as well.
I also got to college and freaked out about, I mean, for me, I was moving to New York, I was going out to clubs. I was like, I did not, I was so overwhelmed by like the wealth of my classmates and the environment that I was in that I also became hyper focused on my body and what I looked like and what I was wearing and just all of these things.
Taylor Rae Almonte-Roman, Taylor Rae Almonte-Roman
And I completely, I, I relate a lot to that time in your life is like a lot family history, weight bullying, dieting, stress, mental health issues and trauma are some of the most common causes for eating disorders, whole thing.
Ali Bonar
It's like you don't have any control when you go to college. Right. So you're just grasping at like some grounded, some foundation and it sounds fucked up. But it's like that to me was like this constant, right? It's like if I'm thinking about food, if I'm thinking about calories, if I'm thinking about my body all the time then, and I don't have to think about how lonely I am or how homesick I am or, you know, I was doing like my long distance high school boyfriend, which I feel like everyone does a freshman year and then it just like crashes and burns. I'm like, we're gonna get married. And, you know, I was, I didn't have to think about like missing him because I'm thinking about how many, you know, grams of fat or in the salad or whatever.
Taylor Rae Almonte-Roman, Ali Bonar
Like, so that I think I've learned, it's the distraction sometimes is like messed up as it is, is this constant and this safety net for many of us, there actually is no universal definition for recovery in relationship to eating disorders.
Taylor Rae Almonte-Roman
Most agree that it is a complicated and ongoing process that being said most specialists would agree that recovery occurs when an individual no longer meets the diagnostic criteria for their disorder. While also acknowledging that the trajectory is not linear.
Ali Bonar
I've actually never even talked about this on a podcast before. It like just resurfaced into my brain so exclusive. But I just kidding. But, you know, it definitely goes through waves and I think, like, right after graduating college, I just remember Eric and I went on this like graduation trip to Costa Rica together and just, I remember seeing those photos of myself in a bikini and just being like, because, you know, senior year, you're sort of just like partying a lot, drinking a lot and I was, you know, at a pretty like high weight for my body. And I just remember being like, not happy with how I looked, but number one didn't know how to change it. And number two in a healthy way. And number two, you know, wasn't super motivated to really do anything about it. It was just like a hit to my self esteem. So I would say for about a year or two, like, wasn't doing much just trying to get integrated into like the working world in San Francisco.
I was living on my own for, you know, the first time or, or not on my own. I had roommates but like away from the college bubble. And then I was working at this tech start up in San Francisco. And this is the part that I haven't actually shared because I forgot, maybe blocked it out. But there was this weight loss challenge that they did in the office which again, like, not very PC, I don't think this would happen.
I mean, this wasn't that long ago but I don't know, wouldn't recommend as now that I'm a business owner, I was like, I would never, and you literally, like, people were weighing themselves every week. It was a challenge and whoever won got money, it was like biggest loser. I remember they called it biggest loser. This is so crazy. Like, like, I don't know how hr signed off on this.
You know, like they were a start up but they're big enough that they had an hr department and I, you know, enrolled because I was like, perfect. Like I wanted to change my body. I'm like, this is the motivation I need. And I think that just like, again, it was that, you know, point where I'm getting showered with compliments again, it was sort of that external validation.
So you can I see a pattern everyone listening to like, you know, we all are looking for, we all want validation, we all want to be seen, right? And so it's like even if the the means to get there or get those compliments is not healthy, it's addicting and it's just human nature. So I think I was definitely trapped in that cycle and that was about 26 end of 2016, beginning of 2017.
So this is right before I had the idea for our product. Long story short, all of 2017, I remember it was just a hot mess. Like my family had a family trip to Italy planned the whole time, you know, leading up to this trip. I'm just like a nervous wreck. I'm like, oh my gosh, what am I gonna eat when I'm there? You know, just stress. I don't even like, I'm tired just telling you about it.
This is so much wasted energy. And then I remember we got to Italy thinking I was gonna be like a hot mess when I was there. And weirdly, I had a really incredible experience just like seeing how, you know, the Italians, their relationship with food. And I was like, that's what I want. I want to be able to have a little bit of everything. I want to be able to, you know, have a relaxed relationship to food.
So I think that was like that little spark, like sometimes you have these little glimmers where you're not even on your recovery journey, but you just see something and you're like, oh, like that looks like something I could do or something. So even before I think I knew that I could have a relationship like that, I knew that was interesting and exciting to me.
So that's really when I started my recovery journey and it's not, you know, a quick thing as you know, like it takes time, but I reached out for professional help to this woman, Molly Alleman who changed my life and she really started as simple as it sounds. But at the time, it was groundbreaking to me teaching me, you know, to eat what I'm craving because at the time I would like scan the menu for the healthiest thing on the menu, the lowest calorie thing on the menu, not even taking into account. What am I craving? What sounds good? What feels good in my body? So all of these things that now come very naturally to me and many people who are intuitive eaters, it was almost like peeling back the layers and unlearning this diet culture that I had just layered on like armor over the years. And it was just like, you know, peeling it away and coming back to this little impressionable, you know, childhood alley that just ate when she was hungry, stopped when she was full, like ate what she loved. Which I'm really, yeah, I'm really proud that I'm there now, but it was a long journey. I would say I, I haven't gotten to like this place where I am with food now until maybe like three years ago. So it was, you know, probably like a three year process to get there in total.
Taylor Rae Almonte-Roman
I think most of us would agree that we have so many different thoughts about our bodies in some ways. We might feel amazing about what our body can do or feel so grateful for our health or some other aspect or area of either what it looks like or what it feels like. But in other ways, we might find things that, that we don't always feel the best about.
I think that there are so many things that are confusing, especially as a young person and especially in a world with so much social media and so many images being reflected back at you that seem to say a body should look and do and be a certain way.
Ali Bonar
It's so confusing and I think that's what kept me and a lot of people stuck for so long because here I was a nutrition major and all my friends around me are not only shower me with compliments for my body, but also my discipline. Like you said, it was like, wow, lie like you, I can't believe you're eating a salad every day. You know, it's like picture like a bunch of college girls in a story house and they're like, oh, like I wish I had your discipline.
Like I just eat like chicken fingers every day and then I was in my mind screaming like I wish I could be like you, you know, like not being not in this prison for myself. And it's so confusing especially now because back then eating healthy wasn't cool. Like it was weird that I was wrong vegan in high school for two weeks. You know, like that was odd.
Like I was kind of my mom was like, should I be worried about her? But now it's so trendy and that's actually, I think even more insidious sometimes because you can just fall under this guise which you see with so many influencers and wellness girlies. And then it's like, you know, when is it? Oh, you have such amazing discipline. And when is it a disorder?
Like it, it only, I think you can decide and for me, the reason or what led me to believe, I, well, I knew obviously I had an issue but it was like, it was only making my life worse where I think health and wellness and, you know, you know, this better than anyone as a trainer, like movement. It's supposed to enhance your life. It's supposed to make you happier.
It's supposed to bring joy and fulfillment and not, you know, be this thing that you wake up and you're like, oh, I have to work out today or else, you know, I can't eat this. Like that's when you get into murky waters. But I think in the wedding, oh, yeah, don't even start in the wedding industry because I'm planning my wedding right now. Like, I think there's a lot, I think we just, we go through these different periods of life and, and so much it brings up a lot of maybe stuff we didn't even realize. Right. It's like the wedding era and then once if you or I decide to have Children, it's like the whole pregnancy thing that brings up a lot postpartum, like just there's a lot of different phases as a woman that you know, it brings up these narratives that maybe are so deep rooted.
Taylor Rae Almonte-Roman, Ali Bonar
We don't even realize we then dove into talking about social media.
Taylor Rae Almonte-Roman
The link between body image issues and social media is well documented. Photo editing apps and filters along with constant exposure to one's own image being reflected back at them are some of the most discussed topics when it comes to the harms of social media on the way individuals view their own bodies.
I I think you made such a good point before that there are so many different times that kind of bring up those feelings all over again. Like if someone decides to become pregnant, decides to like have a kid and then there's like this whole quote unquote bounce back culture where like, well, how quickly can you look back to your old self? Can you even look better than you did before? And with social media, like, I have three nieces and I'll be scrolling on Instagram and I'll see posts that they've liked and I feel so terrified because I cannot imagine like having those magazines that we grew up with that we talked about and having like those TV shows was one thing but having just like in the palm of your hand, just access to like so many images all the time. Feels I mean, it's a lot for me and I'm like a grown woman. Like, I cannot imagine being in middle school and like having social media.
Ali Bonar
I think what's scarier about social media too is at least for us when we were watching America's next top model, we were like, oh, that's a model like they're supposed to, you know, be skinny or they're supposed to look or be beautiful or look this way. But now I think what really scares me is like with the filters being so subtle and anyone can be on social media, you can be like, oh this girl is also in middle school but she looks like this and so then it's an even your mind. Fuck because you're like, wait, am I supposed to look like this? You're like, no, you're 12 honey.
Taylor Rae Almonte-Roman, Ali Bonar
Like trust me, I'm like, I'm 30 I don't even look like this.
Taylor Rae Almonte-Roman
Like I see like girls in high school doing tiktok dances and I'm like my hips could never, I would break my back like I simply can't like I am not as cool as you and you're 15 so good for me.
Ali Bonar
Like you look like you would go when you're 15.
Taylor Rae Almonte-Roman
No, it's so true. I think it's really, really hard and there's obviously like there's a lot of conversations that have happened and that are continuing to happen about social media and like the safety of social media, the use of filters like disclosing information.
Taylor Rae Almonte-Roman, Ali Bonar
But ultimately, I just think it's like, really, really hard for everyone, young people and adults alike, I think, especially for you and me too.
Ali Bonar
Like knowing the content creation side. Like, it's crazy that we still get impacted, you know, mentally by these things on social media because like, objectively and logically if you zoomed out, you'd be like, oh they wouldn't because they know kind of like what's behind the curtain, but we still do. So it's like people that don't know, like how there's all this magic and smoke and mirrors behind content creation, like they must see and be affected more and I really get affected.
So I'm like, wow, this is dangerous. And something else I was thinking with as it pertains to content creation is like, I have so many moments where I'm like, oh, I don't want to share this, you know, or like this is real life, but it's like, oh, like the past few weeks I've been struggling because it's just been a really hard period of our lives. And I'm like, I don't want to get on stories again and talk about, you know, want, want like, or and talk about like how I'm struggling and every time I do, people are so grateful. But it's like if I'm going through that mental battle, like I'm sure a lot of people just opt out and they're like, I'm not gonna share this. But then all you see is the happy things or the highlight reel. And then it's like when you're in your own life and you're going through the shitter, you're like, oh why is no one else struggling? But you know, people are hearing it.
Taylor Rae Almonte-Roman
Adolescents are especially at risk for being negatively impacted by social media in terms of their body image, teens and young adults who reduced their social media use by 50% for just a few weeks saw significant improvement in how they felt about both their weight and their overall appearance compared with peers who maintained constant levels of social media use.
According to research published by the American Psychological Association. From my personal experience as a social media user and content creator, I feel now more than ever that there are more insidious pieces of content that negatively impact users. Rumors, misinformation, disinformation and malformation are common challenges confronting media of all types.
However, it's especially worse in the case of social media health is one area where misinformation can and does cause severe harm. While the edited photos, fat phobia and toxic diet culture online is absolutely harmful. False information about diet wellness and overall health are areas of great concern online.
Ali Bonar
It is honestly very common actually, it's an autoimmune condition. So basically your body just attacks your thyroid which is like so lame of it to do. But yeah, so I've had it probably for a long time, didn't get diagnosed until 2018. and the side effects are just like weight gain, cold hands and feet, like picture like your thyroid is, I mean, you probably know this but it's like your metabolism, it's, you know, your energy source.
So if it's impaired, like your body is attacking it, you just feel tired, you know, sluggish, brain fog. So, what's really misunderstood though is a lot of doctors will just give you Synthroid, which is the number one most commonly prescribed drug in America actually. And a lot of people are on Synthroid, but it's not, your body still has to convert it to like the active thyroid hormone, which I had a problem doing.
So I was taking, you know, Synthroid for a long time wasn't feeling any better. And so now I'm working with this like thyroid specialist who has me dialed. and I just feel like so much more energy and just my clear headed and all that stuff. So, and it affects your weight too because if your metabolism is essentially broken, then, you know, you're not gonna be at a good weight. That for your body.
Taylor Rae Almonte-Roman
Hashimotos is an autoimmune disorder that can cause hypothyroidism or underactive thyroid. The thyroid is a small butterfly shaped gland in the front of your neck. In people with Hashimotos, the immune system makes antibodies that attack the thyroid gland thyroid hormones, control how your body uses energy.
So they affect nearly every organ in the body even the way your heart beats. Hashimoto's disease is 4 to 10 times more common in women than men. Although the disease may occur in teens or young women, it more often develops in women. Ages 30 to 50.
Ali Bonar
We're working, I'm working with her right now. Like people do put it into remission and like any autoimmune, it's diet and lifestyle mostly. I think for me, my achilles heel is stress, which like, how do you get rid of stress? Like I'm not gonna move to a random remote desk island. but there are things like, you know, heal your gut, like the classic kind of like wellness, things that, I'm working with her on. but for me, I do think like, because I've had it for so long I, and I've gotten ultrasounds of my thyroid. It's like pretty degraded. I think I will be on thyroid hormone for the rest of my life. But I try, like, at first I was really upset about it because I'm like, oh, I don't want to be on a pill for the rest of my life, but it's like, you know, it makes me feel good and it allows me to function and if you think of it more of a hormone, like, you know, something your body needs that, that kind of helps me. So to all my hashimoto's girlies out there solidarity.
Taylor Rae Almonte-Roman
We got throughout our conversation. And even when looking at Ali's Instagram where she shares so much about her life. I noticed how many holistic practitioners, coaches, doctors, trainers, and mentors aliment and who have guided her and encouraged her through her health and wellness journey.
But I think it's so awesome when you have the opportunity to like work with another person that knows more than you like working with someone that is like a human being that you don't have to just be on your own. Researching this information, especially when you're trying to like heal yourself, either your health or mentally, emotionally, physically, all of those things. So has having those resources been like a huge part of your, you know, working through all of those things.
Ali Bonar
Absolutely. I honestly, I so appreciate you reflecting that back to me because I didn't even realize that. But I think, you know, I'm just processing this now, but like for so many years in my disordered eating, I felt so alone and it kind of ties back to what I told, talked about with like my whole mission and what fulfills me is helping other people just feel seen and heard and less alone because that's the hardest part about struggling with food.
It was for me like, it's not even the issues with food. It's just like I can't tell anyone what I'm going through and like now that you know, me, like that was just so painful. Like I just love to blab. So I think because of that. I was like, so scarred from and the whole time I'm like, I can figure this out. I can kind of this like, solitude mentality.
And so now maybe even subconsciously I don't even realize it, but it's like all the help I can get if I can afford it. Like, yes. And my mom always says that she's like, lie. You just find the best people. Like, I don't know how you do it, but like, you just end up finding like the best people in every field. And I'm, you know, it doesn't mean they're like the most expensive but like the best for what I need or just like, you know, really passionate about what they do.
So, yeah, like I worked with the woman that helped me with intuitive eating. I worked with two different therapists for the past two years. talk therapy and then somatic therapy, trainer. What else? I'm actually interviewing a business coach later next week. So it's like, I think just knowing that you don't have all the answers and if anyone feels like they know everything, like I promise you don't and you know, just even sometimes talking with someone like on a podcast or just like having other people reflect things back to you is so helpful. So yeah, I am very pro like, get a coach, get any sort of mentor because it's just, it's helped me so much because you just don't know what you don't know.
Taylor Rae Almonte-Roman
You know, honestly Ali and I talked about so many different topics. We went on so many different tangents, which I was honestly loving for us. We talked about wedding, we talked about being content creators. We talked more about social media, we just talked, we talked about this parasite cleanse that she did. And if you follow her on Instagram, like if you know, you know, we went so many different directions. But ultimately, as all incredible things do, it had to come to an end.
Ali Bonar
One, what you're doing with the podcast is so incredible because as I'm listening off, like, oh, I work with this person, this person, what's happening in my mind is like, that's an expense, that's an expense. Like it's expensive and it is a privilege to be able to work with coaches. So like, I think that's why podcasts are so amazing because essentially if you are so inclined, you can get so much free information from experts on a million different podcasts.
So I think that's what you're like, what you're doing is so great. And then secondly, another thought I had which, which I love what you're saying about. Like, you know, there's, if you look at and I don't want to like, get into politics. But like politics is an example where it's like people in their own camps, like all they're just surrounded by this echo chamber of social media where they're like, how they can't even see what the quote unquote other side believes because
everyone around them is echoing what they believe. Right. So, it's like, I love hanging out with people that have different views, viewpoints than me or who, like, teach me things or have a different way of viewing the world. And even if at the end of the day I'm like, ok, like, I actually, you know, I, we're going to agree to disagree.
I love that because I just hate surrounding myself with people that are just all the same. Because then you're not learning, you're just like, again, echoing what other people are saying.
Taylor Rae Almonte-Roman
So, yeah, absolutely. I'm so grateful for ali sharing her story for being vulnerable. But honestly, I see that so much on her social, her just wanting to open up and be vulnerable and really let people in and let people see who she really is. So it's, it's just amazing to meet people like that because you can have the best and most honest conversations.
I was thinking a lot about this project that I did. I want to say it was sixth grade health class and you were in a small group and you got your poster board, you had to do a presentation and you could do it on one of two topics. It was the week that we learned about eating disorders and you could either do it on bulimia or you could do it on anorexia. And from that moment forward, I believed that these were the only two ways that your relationship with food could manifest.
I thought that if I didn't fit into what those rigid categories and characteristics seem to be that I must have a, I guess normal relationship with food. And I really wish that there had been a more comprehensive conversation about that, especially in a school setting. But as we talked about earlier, there are so many different ways that disordered eating can manifest.
I mentioned a bunch earlier, I listed them off and of course, there is always citations in the show notes if you want to check out where I got that information from. But what I really just wanted to stress and what honestly, I've just really been thinking about is how complicated our relationships with food, with eating with our body can be whatever your relationship might be with your body, with your food choices, with your eating habits.
I want you to know that I see you and I'm with you as always and I want to encourage you if you think you need to talk to someone. If you are looking for guidance or support, I'm going to drop some resources in the show notes as well because you are so worthy of that love and that support always, you can follow Ali at Ally Bonar on Instagram and her company at OAT House H A US for House. As always a full transcription of the episode along the citations can be found on my website. All of those links are available in the show notes. See you out there.
This web site is provided for educational and informational purposes only and does not constitute providing medical advice or professional services. The information provided should not be used for diagnosing or treating a health problem or disease, and those seeking personal medical advice should consult with a licensed physician.
For Learning Resources for Eating Disorders & Recovery, click here
References
Bardone-Cone, Anna M., Rowan A. Hunt, and Hunna J. Watson. 2018. “An Overview of Conceptualizations of Eating Disorder Recovery, Recent Findings, and Future Directions.” Current Psychiatry Reports 20 (9). https://doi.org/10.1007/s11920-018-0932-9.
Byrne, Patrick. 2023. “How Social Media Can Harm Your Body Image.” Cleveland Clinic. July 21, 2023. https://health.clevelandclinic.org/social-media-and-body-image.
Fardouly, Jasmine, and Lenny R. Vartanian. 2016. “Social Media and Body Image Concerns: Current Research and Future Directions.” Current Opinion in Psychology 9 (9): 1–5.
Goldfield, Gary. 2023. “Reducing Social Media Use Significantly Improves Body Image in Teens, Young Adults.” American Psychological Association. American Psychological Association. February 23, 2023. https://www.apa.org/news/press/releases/2023/02/social-media-body-image.
“Hashimoto’s Disease | NIDDK.” n.d. National Institute of Diabetes and Digestive and Kidney Diseases. https://www.niddk.nih.gov/health-information/endocrine-diseases/hashimotos-disease#whatis.
“Learn about 6 Common Types of Eating Disorders and Their Symptoms.” 2022. Healthline. April 11, 2022. https://www.healthline.com/nutrition/common-eating-disorders#other-types.
Mayo Clinic. 2018. “Eating Disorders .” Mayo Clinic. Mayo Foundation for Medical Education and Research. February 22, 2018. https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/eating-disorders/symptoms-causes/syc-20353603.
Muhammed , Sadiq T, and Saji K. Mathew. 2022. “The Disaster of Misinformation: A Review of Research in Social Media.” International Journal of Data Science and Analytics 13 (4): 271–85. https://doi.org/10.1007/s41060-022-00311-6.
National Institute of Mental Health. 2021. “Eating Disorders: About More than Food.” National Institute of Mental Health. 2021. https://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/publications/eating-disorders.
