S1 E2: Growing Up as a First Generation Haitian-American, Coming Out, and Living Bravely as an HIV Advocate with Dimitri Joseph Moïse
In this episode, I speak with Dimitri Joseph Moïse (he/they). Dimitri is a Broadway performer who transformed the story of their HIV diagnosis and stepped into a world of advocacy and HIV activism. Currently, Dimitri is Deputy Director of Patient Advocacy at Vot-ER exploring the intersections between healthcare and democracy.
Summary
In the second full length episode of her podcast, "On the Outside," Taylor Rae thanks her audience for their positive feedback.The guest for this episode is Dimitri Joseph Moïse, a Broadway performer who now works as an HIV advocate, acting as the Deputy Director of Patient Advocacy at Vot-ER. During the show, Moïse discusses their perspective as a first-generation Haitian-American, the stigma and systemic barriers faced by HIV-positive individuals, and why patient-centered care is critical in managing HIV. They also discuss their personal journey with accepting their gay and HIV-positive status, and the importance of dismantling associated misconceptions.
Key Moments
Introduction (00:00:06 - 00:01:00)
In the second full-length episode of "On the Outside," Taylor Ray expresses her gratitude towards her audience for their positive responses. Despite the challenging task of producing three episodes per week, all the editing, research, and production being handled by herself, she's been amazed by the outpouring of support. She found the first week a whirlwind but remains thankful and joyful due to the audience's encouraging responses.Interview with Dimitri, HIV Activism, Intersectionality (00:01:00 - 00:47:17)
In this podcast episode, Dimitri Joseph Moïse, a Broadway performer-turned-HIV advocate, shared his experience of coming to terms with his gay and HIV-positive identities. Currently serving as the Deputy Director of Patient Advocacy at Vot-ER, Dimitri emphasizes the importance of patient-centered care and debunking HIV misconceptions. Part of his discussion focused on his experiences as a first-generation Haitian-American and his involvement in a show with race-related themes. Furthermore, the duo discuss the stigma faced by HIV-positive individuals and the systemic impediments to accessing safe treatment, like homophobia and racism.
Transcription
Taylor Rae Almonte-Roman
Hey, hey, welcome back. It's Taylor Rae. And this is another episode of “On the Outside”. As always, I am so happy that you're here. I'm so thankful to have you back. This is actually only our second full on full length episode, but our first week has honestly already been kind of a whirlwind. I decided to release three times a week as I'm sure, you know, by now.
And I'm also doing all of the editing, producing research, all that good stuff by myself. And I am like, wow, girl, OK, you really want for this three times a week. OK. Love that for you. But the response from you guys has already been so amazing and filled my heart up with so much joy. So thank you once again. Now today's episode is not only one of my favorite episodes on the podcast, but one of my favorite episodes maybe in my life.
I had such an incredible time speaking with Dimitri, we got to meet in person in New York City. That is why I also have some visual clips on our Instagram of me and Dmitri speaking, which just made it so much more fun. There's nothing like an in person face to face convo, even though I'm, of course, so grateful for our technology today that I get to speak to a lot of my guests virtually.
So let's learn a little bit more about Dmitri. In today's episode, I talked to Dmitri Joseph Mois. Dimitri is a broadway performer who transformed the story of their HIV diagnosis and stepped into a world of advocacy and HIV activism. Currently, Dimitri is Deputy director of patient advocacy at VDR, exploring the intersections between health care and democracy.
They're from Queens New York and went to NYU to study drama as an MLK scholar. They're the 2018 folio award winner for Chill Magazine, the 2023 Lambda Literacy Fellowship recipient and 2023 Rippon Award recipient presented by Playbill, which recognizes a leader in research activism and or outreach, honoring their commitment and stopping the stigma associated with HIV and A I DS and commitment to helping find a cure in our conversation.
We talk about their experience growing up as a first generation Haitian American, coming out to their parents as gay and coming out to their parents as HIV, positive, finding their purpose through advocacy and so much more. Let's start it out by hearing about a time when Dimitri felt like they were an outsider.
Dimitri Joseph Moïse
So I have, despite the times that I have felt on the outside, I am grateful that I've had a really strong community around me So I've always found community and one of the places where I found a deep sense of self and community was in my church community growing up. And I'm a recovering Catholic now. But at the time I was, you know, administering the Eucharist, I was cantering and, and leading a song in worship every week I would conduct the choir.
So it was a big part of my life. And I remember one day we are at church Sunday, whatever. There were like five services. So maybe it was two o'clock. Who knows? But we're sitting in the pews and it's time to receive communion. And I'm with my family and we all start to get up to receive the Eucharist. I'm the last of my family to exit the pew. But then a hand stops me on my chest and I hear no, you can't go, you have to stay here.
And that was an experience with my family a couple months after I came out of the closet as, you know, as gay. And my family was like, you can't receive the Eucharist because you're living out a mortal sin. And that was the beginning of my like, break away from God and the church because after them, I remember getting like my cancer schedule and I'd see. Oh, I'm doing one less math than I normally do.
The next month came by. Oh, I'm doing three less masses than I normally do talk about feeling on the outside and they were just slowly pushing me out in every way, shape or form. So I remember it starting with that Uru story just literally being stopped like this blessed gift that you've been able to receive since you were seven years old, you no longer can because you're gay.
Taylor Rae Almonte-Roman
Let's get into our conversation.
Dimitri Joseph Moïse
My name is Dimitri Moïse. My pronouns are they/he and I was born and raised in queens and a very loving but firm Haitian household, first generation born. Like I said, I'm, I'm so proud of my heritage and where my family comes from. And it's something that my parents never let me forget. I'm so grateful to them because I think that there is a part of the immigrant experience where you know, I do have members of my family where their parents came here, had Children and then said, we don't
want you thinking about any part of your culture, you need to assimilate to what's happening here in America. And I feel really fortunate because while my parents always reminded me what race was like in America and how it was categorized and how I fit in to the structure of white supremacy, not that they had that language, but they always reminded me like this is how America is.
At the same time. My mom was like, but you will learn how to speak French. You will hear us speaking Haitian creole in the household. Like you know what I mean? Like, you are going to bring Haitian food to school for lunch. You know what I mean? Like, my mom was like, you're, we're Haitian, like what, you know, and so I'm so grateful to my parents for that because I think that it gave me so much confidence in the sense that I, I grew up going to Pwis my whole life actually, you know, including college, predominantly white institutions and, you know, Catholic Irish. And even though I was like my own microcosm just being the only person of color or the one of a few in a sea of many white folks, I never felt put on the outside because of my race.
Taylor Rae Almonte-Roman
Dimitri and I did both go to NYU Tish, but they were, I think a year above me and I truly was constantly starstruck by Dimitri, which you're gonna figure out why just hearing them talk in this conversation. One thing we did have in common growing up is that we both sang in the church. I was in the choir. I was like exactly Sundays like five show day. Like literally, it was like, I have to perform on Sundays. I have a full schedule.
Dimitri Joseph Moïse
My dad gave me notes after I sang, oh, I love it. I finished service and he'd be like, OK, that was great.
Taylor Rae Almonte-Roman
So my dad would also give me, yeah, I proudly sang in the church choir of visitation church in Brick, New Jersey. The age of five until I was about 17, singing in church was one of the places I felt safest and most able to be myself in my childhood. And I also have so many fond memories getting notes from my dad singing with him, practicing my harmonies with him.
And it was such a place that I felt called to be a performer and a storyteller for the first time. Let's continue by diving more into Dimitri's story. I mean, such an impactful like experience as a young person. How old were you?
Dimitri Joseph Moïse
I was 17.
Taylor Rae Almonte-Roman
Yeah. And you said that was a couple weeks after coming out to your parents. I think so.
Dimitri Joseph Moïse
I grew up in a Haitian household. I'm first generation born and I'm so proud to be Haitian. Something also about Haitians is as a kid. I don't have locks on the doors because my parents said this is my room, not your room. OK. My laptop that I had for school. My mom said this is my laptop. OK? Not yours. I paid for it like, you know, and that's just who they were.
And so I remember working on a project my senior year and I fell asleep w working on my laptop and I guess it was still open. And the next thing I remember is I kid you not my mother shaking me vigorously awake asking me who is the name of the boy, I was seeing at that time because she saw, Facebook messages and she was like, it's Barzan. and honestly, that was the moment where I had to be like, yeah, I, I'm gay.
I've been seeing this boy secretly for the last year. Yeah. The car that you got me, I've been sneaking away to go see him and go on dates and you know what I mean? And so it was that moment that my mom discovered all that stuff on my laptop, like our conversations that then just kind of forced me to finish the job.
Taylor Rae Almonte-Roman
That was way more dramatic than I suggested. Yeah. Wow. Ok. So overall this period of your life, very much trauma.
Dimitri Joseph Moïse
This period of my life was V traumatic.
Taylor Rae Almonte-Roman
Originally, I'd asked Dimitri if coming out his story was something like what you might see on a TV. Show. The teen sits their parents down after school and shares the news to be met with their parents' reaction. But as you heard, it was a lot different than that in a 2023 study by Pew Research Center entitled a survey of LGBT Americans attitudes, experiences and values in changing times. Chapter three talks about the coming out experience 54 4%.
So about half of participants say that all or most of the important people in their life know that they are bisexual, lesbian, gay or transgender. That also means that about half say that most of the important people in their life do not know when asked how old they were, when they first felt they might be something other than straight or heterosexual. The median age across all LGBT adults is 12 years old.
Dimitri Joseph Moïse
Well, when you were like, think of a time that you felt like an outsider, I was like, I had to like, dig deep. But what was interesting is that every story I thought of stemmed from my gay identity, like almost every single story. And I don't know why that is, but I found it, I found it really interesting because, you know, like when we're, when we feel outside of ourselves, it's probably like because of some sort of identity that we hold, that makes us feel like because I'm X, you're putting me on the outside or because I'm, you know, so I just found it interesting that it wasn't race, it wasn't, it was my gay identity.
Taylor Rae Almonte-Roman
Sometimes we almost a lead with a specific part of our identity because all of our identities are so intersectional. OK. Friends, I love talking about intersectionality. So I'm gonna try and keep this short. Intersectionality is a term created by Kimberly Crenshaw. It is a framework that arose out of black radical feminist scholarship that stresses the importance of acknowledging multiple intersecting identities such as race, gender, class, sexual identity, and the associated systems of power and oppression. So Crenshaw is credited with first calling attention to intersectionality in legal scholarship. And she specifically was discussing it in terms of surrounding anti discrimination laws which treated sexism and racism as independent rather than interlocking systems of oppression, which had a compounding and deeply harmful effect by not acknowledging marginalized black women's experiences with discrimination.
Intersectionality is a way to conceptualize our overlapping and interwoven identities. Here. Dimitri talks about being both black and gay. For me, race comes up a lot more than gender. Most of my stories are about race. So I think it's I mean, I think we all kind of have those. If I really dug deep, I'm sure I could think about a time that being a woman made me feel a certain way.
But I think that makes a lot of sense that you're like most of these things that came up for you is because of your gay identity and that facet of yourself. One way to discuss your intersectional identity is to consider your social location. I actually learned the term social location from Dmitri. Social location is a combination of factors that define an individual's place in society.
It includes things like race, class, gender, disability, sexuality, religion, age education, marital sta status, geographic location and political view. No two people, social locations may be the same being black compounded by being a woman or a queer woman could create a very different set of circumstances and worldview. Each facet of an individual's identity affects their life in different ways.
Being a gay white man is not the same as being a disabled gay white man, for example, both individuals are gay, but the overlapping identities might create a different experience with different access. I could talk about intersectionality all day. It's a topic I find so useful, so layered and so impactful to our everyday lives.
Dimitri Joseph Moïse
Almost 10 years ago now. Don a bullet, but I was engaged. and my parents at the time and we have a very close relationship now. But at the time, my mom refused to meet him and my dad was like, I mean, I have to stand with your mom on this, you know, so for me at that time, I'm with someone that I, you know, was saying here's someone that I want to spend the rest of my life with.
Taylor Rae Almonte-Roman, Dimitri Joseph Moïse
Yeah, he's a man and even still they were like, we don't want to meet this person, especially after hearing some bits and pieces of dimitri's story.
Taylor Rae Almonte-Roman
It's really beautiful to hear them say that they would describe their relationship with their parents as close in our conversation. I also shared about a time when I had a non binary partner when I was in my early twenties and how my parents reacted. Honestly, they didn't really care in the best way possible. It was barely a conversation and I feel really grateful for them making me feel like it wasn't really something I needed to concern myself with.
They would honestly embrace anyone that I wanted to date. They would love anyone that I loved. And that was a really eye opening moment for me. I was pretty nervous to talk to them about it honestly. But I think that was more society's pressure on me versus my parents pressure. So I'm always grateful for that time in my life. My hope is that at least when I'm a parent someday, I really hope that my child doesn't even think that they ever need to come out to me like that.
I will literally just be like whatever you want, girl hope that they don't feel one ounce of trepidation whatsoever because it is. So it is, I mean, I have a million friends but also you hear so many stories like this. So thank you for sharing all of that because even just like unpacking relationships with parents is always a lot for all.
Donald Trump stunned the political world in 2016 when he became the first person without government or military experience ever to be elected president of the United States. That's some important context and an important moment to think about as we head into the next part of our conversation.
Dimitri Joseph Moïse
And it really wasn't until 2016 that I have to start having a real reckoning with myself around my, around my black identity, which was really interesting, I think because so much of my formative years was centered around like coming out and my gay identity and like going through college, like as a gay person and really leaning into that piece of it. I think other part, parts of me and I lead as a human first.
And so I think all of the other pieces of me are a portion of what makes me human. And so with all of my identities, I lean into them. But I'm also like, well, there are some days where one is being focused on more than another. And I think for that period of my life until 2016 was really focused on who I was as a gay person.
Taylor Rae Almonte-Roman
What in 2016 made you think more about your black identity.
Dimitri Joseph Moïse
The election.
Taylor Rae Almonte-Roman
A piece in the New Yorker from 2016 by David Remnick, the editor of the New Yorker since 1998 summarizes a lot of my feelings around Trump's 2016 election. It reads: “The election of Donald Trump to the presidency is nothing less than a tragedy for the American Republic, a tragedy for the Constitution and a triumph for the forces at home and abroad of nativism, authoritarianism, misogyny, and racism. Trump's shocking victory, his ascension to the presidency is a sickening event in the history of the United States and liberal democracy. On January 20th 2017, we will bid farewell to the first African American president, a man of integrity, dignity, and generous spirit and witness the inauguration of a Khan who did little to spurn endorsement by forces of xenophobia and white supremacy. It is impossible to react to this moment with anything less than revulsion and profound anxiety.”
I remember the day after Trump was voted into office, I was taking the bus into the city from my mom's house in New Jersey. It was raining and I sat in a window seat on a New Jersey transit bus for an hour and a half, looking out the window with my forehead pushed up against the glass and tears streaming down my face. I was 22 years old.
Dimitri Joseph Moïse
Taylor and I are buddies from the college years.
Taylor Rae Almonte-Roman
I feel like you were a year above me. I think so. Yeah, I feel like I didn't really engage with you that much, but I saw you from afar and I knew you were a star. I was like, oh my gosh, if I remember you made your Broadway debut right after your graduation, the day I graduated, what an absolute celeb, I feel like you took a picture.
Dimitri Joseph Moïse
I did take it. You're exactly.
Taylor Rae Almonte-Roman
I remember seeing it on Instagram or Facebook and I was like, Dimitri really is winning. Everyone cannot compare one at life like, oh my gosh, what a dream.
Dimitri Joseph Moïse
It's so funny because when I walked into the theater they couldn't have given to can I was like, you know, they could even two shes, you know, what I mean? But I was like, can someone take a picture of me, please? On the stage, please? I, I need it. And they were like, yeah, sure.
Taylor Rae Almonte-Roman
No, I'm so happy that you got it because it was everything I want. You should frame it on your own.
Dimitri Joseph Moïse
Oh my God. It, but it, it's funny because that experience II, I worked on that project for 2.5 years. And that experience also, I think is what led me to this near like break in 2016 because that show dealt so much in race in a way that I had never like engaged with, you know, and we're traveling the country. I was on tour and we were in cities where, you know, like the jokes in this show are about being black or being from Africa or having a I Ds.
And we would be in cities where I would literally be like, are you laughing at the jokes or are you laughing at us? I can't tell. And that happened in city after city, after city and I had never felt that before in my life. That feeling And then the election is when it all clicked like, oh, that's what it feels like to be black in America.
You were really lucky to grow up in Queens with a loving Haitian household who yeah, intellectually told you what it was like. But I was immersed in my Haitian culture. You know, and it wasn't until traveling the country and being in cities where my race was so focused on more than anything else.
Taylor Rae Almonte-Roman
I truly love so much for Dimitri, how surrounded they were growing up and continue to be by their Haitian culture. While I also had a lot of influence from my culture. My parents growing up and being born in the Caribbean and then later coming to New York, I definitely had a different experience than Dimitri did my parents. I'm also first generation, my dad's from Dominican Republic, my mom's from Puerto Rico, but it's I feel like it's a little bit in the middle of those two dynamics.
You described being super, super like, aware and educated on and proud of. Not that I don't think my family wasn't proud of but being like really immersed in that culture versus assimilating, I think I was a little bit in between. Like my parents never taught me Spanish. It is. Yeah, it's both of my parents first languages and I know some I can get by, I can like pretend like I have a good, my pronunciation is good.
So if you like, tell me what to say, I can like get by and you know, in my after life, I would do like voice overs in Spanish, but I would be like, what's that word mean? Or like what? Like, I'm definitely not fluent and some of those dynamics came from my parents coming here as Children. not knowing English and not being really difficult for them.
But I think it's, it is, it's tough. You never, it's, it's tough being an immigrant to a new country. But I love for you that you stayed so close to your Haitian roots. I just read a book about the Haitian revolution and know so much now about Haiti and I probably could teach me some stuff. The largest influx during the transatlantic slave trade was to Haiti. And Haiti produced 3/4 of the world's sugar was developed the largest slave economy in the world.
They revolted. We have been talking a lot about the Haitian Revolution this semester and I'm like, come on Haiti. Wow. Yeah. But also just the way in which the world reacted to Haiti being the only the first and the only free black colony, they punish them for it.
Dimitri Joseph Moïse
So we can't have that.
Taylor Rae Almonte-Roman
The information I'm sharing is primarily from my reading of Avengers of the New World by Dubois to clarify and also fact track myself a little bit. The Haitian revolution was in 1791. The Haitian Revolution was the only successful interaction by self liberated slaves ever. So to, to take us back in history a little bit, the enslaved people of Saint Domain modern day Haiti were from across Africa.
They didn't necessarily see themselves as having anything in common until they were racialized as black by the French colonists of Saint Domain. That means these individuals didn't even speak the same language, have the same religion, have the same customs, but they bound and bonded together by their racialization as black enslaved people.
They were made to be black because they didn't necessarily identify as that thing when they were living in Africa as separate ethnic groups. And that's super important because these individuals who maybe didn't even speak the same language who were made to be black and made to be slaves rose up against France and did the unthinkable. They were an inspiration to enslaved people across the Americas and they became self liberated.
After that moment, during Haiti's critical period of development, France was determined to ruin them. France sent an armed front of warships to Haiti with a message that the young nation would have to pay France 150 million francs to secure their independence or suffer the consequences. Almost literally at gunpoint, Haiti obviously had to cave to France's demands without much choice.
The amount was too much for the young nation to pay outright. So they therefore had to take out loans from France, from French banks with hefty interest rates over the next century, Haiti paid French slaveholders and their descendants, the equivalent of between 2030 billion of today's dollars. That is how Haiti's economy was decimated.
Its future was taken from them and its reputation was poisoned by France. I hope we can all remember Haiti as a beacon, a North star for black enslaved people around the Americas who saw that freedom could be real the first and the only liberated slave colony that is Haiti. OK, I'm done with my rant about Haiti.
Dimitri Joseph Moïse
I love that. Come on, I'm done with my man Haiti. Professor Taylor.
Taylor Rae Almonte-Roman
A so that but I wanna go back, I wanna back it up to your experience on tour because you made a couple points of why you felt like, you know, people in these towns in these cities were laughing at the show because these characters were black because they were African because they had a I DS at that time. Did you have, were you living with HIV? At that time, I was not. When did that happen?
Dimitri Joseph Moïse
I, so that, I was diagnosed in 2018 the same year that I, I came out very, very quick.
Taylor Rae Almonte-Roman, Dimitri Joseph Moïse
So I've been living with HIV for five years now to clarify when Dimitri says they were diagnosed in 2018.
Taylor Rae Almonte-Roman
And that's also the year they came out, they later clarify that by coming out, they're referring to coming out with their status as a person living with HIV, specifically not this being the same year that they came out as gay Dimitri continues sharing their advocacy work around HIV and the commercials that I always see them in that focus on their HIV advocacy.
Dimitri Joseph Moïse
Well, what I really love about it honestly and you know, this is just the advocate in me. we, every month we speak to communities either virtually or in person, or like a few times every couple of months about our experiences living with HIV. you know, I focus on a lot of health care and democracy issues and so I lean into that and a lot of times we're talking to communities who, you know, outside of themselves and their loved ones and their friends, like no one really knows and they don't know how to talk about their status publicly. And so I think, you know, aside from the fact that yes, like, you know, we're shooting these commercials, we are reaching communities and we're also speaking to, you know, people who work with folks living with HIV, so we can help them understand, right? Like this is how you focus on patient centered care and leading with understanding a person's trauma before you make any assumptions.
Taylor Rae Almonte-Roman, Dimitri Joseph Moïse
Let's learn more about Dimitri's experience living with HIV. Anyway, another thing about me is I I'm HIV, positive to get to this point.
Taylor Rae Almonte-Roman
I mean, I'm sure it's been a journey from 2018 to now in sharing this and being vulnerable and transparent and also having a platform around living with HIV.
Taylor Rae Almonte-Roman, Dimitri Joseph Moïse
So what has that journey been like?
Dimitri Joseph Moïse
It has been? it's been a wild one. Something that I say often is I view this all as a very dark blessing. Because I have walked into my purpose and that's something that God told me was going to happen and I just was literally crying on my bathroom floor. Like, what are you talking about? And now I look back and I'm like, wow, God wasn't joking there, but at the same time, my diagnosis brought me to some, brought me to the darkest points in my life and I made the decision to come out pretty
quickly. And the reason was because at the time I was working with an LGBT Q media brand and I was managing a magazine that was under this brand. And the editorial director at the time knew that I was positive because for a few months, I was just like, I was not able to write, I was in a few months after finding out, even though life kept going and like deadlines pass, like I just kind of, I halted and I finally had to tell her this is what's been going on.
And she was like, I had a feeling that you were gonna tell me you were positive. And I was like, why would you know that? And she said the amount of people who have told me in my lifetime or HIV status, I could feel it in my bones. A few months had passed. And, and she reached out to me again and was like, hey, so there's a segment for this magazine that I run focused on living with HIV. And, and issues surrounding HIV. both socially and politically. She was like, there's a segment called I'm the first and I think that you would be really great for it and I wanna pitch you for this and I know that it would be, you're coming out and it would be really big. She was like, but also knowing you, like, I think this could be healing for you too. And I spent some time and meditated on it and prayed on it. And ultimately, like, this was that moment where God was like I told you, you're about to walk into your purpose and flew to L A filmed my story, you know, did the interview, did the thing. But the segment wasn't about living with HIV. The segment was actually about being the first in your family to do anything. And so for me, it was the first in my family to go to American College. because my parents both came here from Haiti. So I was the first to go to school here.
Taylor Rae Almonte-Roman, Dimitri Joseph Moïse
But it was also my coming out HIV stands for human immunodeficiency virus.
Taylor Rae Almonte-Roman
It's a virus that can only infect humans and leads to the weakening of the immune system. The immune system is the body system for fighting disease. HIV can lead to A I DS A I DS stands for acquired immunodeficiency syndrome, which means the immune system has been made less effective by HIV. It's important to note that you cannot have A I DS without being infected with HIV.
But people can and do live long lives on treatment with HIV and never develop A I DS. Once you have HIV, the virus stays in your body for life. There's no cure for HIV. But with treatment, living a life undetectable is very possible. You would refer to it as coming out with HIV.
Dimitri Joseph Moïse
I would, I would, because, I think so few when I came out, I quickly realized how few people who looked like me shared my experience. we're living as publicly and openly as HIV. Positive and realizing that I do, I do consider it a coming out because, you know, I think with being LGBT Q, you know, we stand in the millions, right? And we have like such a history that we can have a conversation now about, I hope my kids don't have to come out one day.
Right? but when you contract HIV. Right. Like that's a life altering illness. It's something that eventually you're gonna have to disclose to a partner. Like there are all these things that happen and making that decision to say yes, I'm HIV positive. That's a real marker that you put on yourself. and I remember one of my dear friends, an older gay man, one of the first people I told, he said to me really think about who and how you share your status because it's a very precious piece of information and what you do with it really matters because there are situations where like I, I talk to communities where, you know, sharing your status can mean going to jail being criminalized for whatever reason, can put you in harm's way someone can harm you. because they may not know enough about what it means to be living undetectable.
Taylor Rae Almonte-Roman
When your viral load is undetectable, you can no longer detect the virus in your body, which means you cannot pass HIV. It cannot be spread through sex and it's safe to become pregnant and breastfeed without passing the virus onto your baby.
Dimitri Joseph Moïse
There are all sorts of ways that people who are living with HIV are criminalized. And so being able to live this publicly, you know, it really did feel like I'm coming out, it really did feel like a Diana Ross.
Taylor Rae Almonte-Roman
Absolutely. If only I had the rights to use that song right here.
Taylor Rae Almonte-Roman, Dimitri Joseph Moïse
But I don't, someday…
Dimitri Joseph Moïse
I sent my parents a video before the feature came out.
Taylor Rae Almonte-Roman
So you sent them a video of like your interview?
Taylor Rae Almonte-Roman, Dimitri Joseph Moïse
No, a video telling them that I was HIV positive.
Taylor Rae Almonte-Roman
Just like a video you recorded like a selfie style video. Yeah. How did that go?
Dimitri Joseph Moïse
It was the right way to do it? Ok.
Taylor Rae Almonte-Roman
OK.
Dimitri Joseph Moïse
Because I think my parents were like me and that I prefer to just like, get news and then, like, be on my own to process it. And that was such, that was such a piece of news that, like, you know, when you come out as gay, one of the first things you're told is you're going to get HIV, you know, and in a really sad way at that time, I was like, well, I literally fulfilled this dark omen that you have put upon me.
And so in one way that I was trying to protect them, I also was like, I can't tell you this in person. Like I just can't do it because I don't know, I think I will literally blow up. Like, I don't know what will happen.
Taylor Rae Almonte-Roman, Dimitri Joseph Moïse
I asked Dimitri how it felt to be doing this work as an advocate and an activist, whether I have wanted to admit it or not.
Dimitri Joseph Moïse
I feel like I've always been an educator. And so I feel really fortunate that I have been able to utilize my story as a vehicle to put a face to the virus and humanize what it looks like living with HIV. But also bringing that education to folks because there is so much misinformation and disinformation that exists out there. And studies show that half of a half of all Americans say they don't know enough about HIV.
And an overwhelming majority of Americans agree that stigma still exists. And so for me, I work on the treatment and prevention side, right. Making sure that I help folks get to the life saving medication that they need in order to get to undetectable. and living undetectable with HIV. For those of you who don't know, means that I cannot transmit the virus as long as you stand detectable and stay on your treatment, you cannot transmit the virus not through sex, you can't transmit
it. And sciences has proven that but stigma still exists and I truly believe that it's stigma that is killing us. Stigma is what is preventing people from even going to get tested in the first place. I know someone who just lost their ex lover to age related complications. A young black man who in 2023 still couldn't tell anyone, not even that my friend knew and they ex lovers and they had been together for decades and this person passed away, didn't ask for medication and this is
2023 you know, and studies show as well that at the current transmission rate of HIV, one and two black men, queer men will be, I will be identified as HIV positive in their lifetime.
Taylor Rae Almonte-Roman
One in two of us, I linked that study that Dimitri references on my website which you can find in the show notes that study says if current HIV diagnosis rates persist about one in two gay black men and one in four gay Latino men in the United States will be diagnosed with HIV during their lifetime according to a new analysis by researchers at the CDC.
Dimitri Joseph Moïse
Because as beautiful as this journey is, it's a really tough road because we gotta make sure that people know that the epidemic still rages on in the black community and we don't talk about it. Yeah.
Taylor Rae Almonte-Roman
Yeah. Wow. I'm so thankful for you and your, your ability to educate others because I think that is exactly what you just said. You said the stigma is what is killing people. And that is so important because lack of information is crucial. And I think I see myself as an educator also and I think when people don't have the information, like having information allows you to deconstruct those stigmas and those stereotypes and those preconceived notions because you know more, if we look at HIV diagnoses by race and ethnicity, we see that black Americans are most affected by HIV, as Dimitri said in 2021 black people accounted for 40% of all new HIV diagnoses. Additionally, Latinos are also strongly affected and account for 29% of all new diagnoses. The most affected subpopulation is black gay and bisexual men.
Dimitri Joseph Moïse
Do you mind if I share a story?
Taylor Rae Almonte-Roman
I never do please.
Dimitri Joseph Moïse
This just happened. So I was speaking in New Orleans at the annual conference for the National Alliance of State and Territorial A I DS directors. And over the last year, I was part of an advisory panel and we helped develop their newest edition of a trauma informed tool kit for providers who are working with clients living with HIV. So, essentially they asked me to come down to New Orleans and speak on the tool kit and talk about my experience and talk about how it relates to, you
know, all of the tools that we're asking providers to utilize with their patients. And I knew I was doing this for months. Ok. I, I had this gig for months. When did I decide to write my 10 page 20 minute presentation the morning? I had to be there at 1 p.m. maybe 1030 AMI AM on the computer furiously typing that morning. Also, I had a panic attack and it was sobbing as I was recalling and remembering these experiences, right?
And I realized I procrastinated for months because I didn't wanna have to go there again and I waited until the very last minute to do it. But it was in that moment where I wasn't and I wrote 10 pages out in like two hours. Ok. So that, so honestly, I was like, I was like, honestly slay work in the trauma but quickly, quick, quickly time limit.
Ok. But it was truly like in that moment, I was like, wow, even today, something like this, like I am going to speak on something that I helped develop. That is an extension of me and my experience and I'm still feeling these feelings. It never goes away.
Taylor Rae Almonte-Roman
I loved this conversation with Dimitri and I felt so moved, energized, empowered and just honestly had the best time talking to him a couple months ago. I don't remember what I was talking to my mom about. I talked to my mom every single day and she said that I was the bravest person that she knows, stop. I could cry right now. I could melt. And so I had never really thought I didn't really think of myself as brave.
But since then I tell myself every day, you're brave, you can do this. You're brave. And I pass on to you that I think you're brave. I think I see your bravery because I think that's such a beautiful word like someone to call you brave like wow. I think it's so I think it means so much and yeah, so I think you're brave.
Dimitri Joseph Moïse
I'm gonna receive that. Thank you so much. I'm not very, I love you so much. I'm really bad at receiving amazing gifts like that. So I'm just gonna say thank you. And you are also brave. And I see you too, babe. The work that we do and the work that so many other people are doing and all of these spheres like it is fucking brave.
Taylor Rae Almonte-Roman
OK? Friends. That is this week's show. One thing Dimitri said that really stuck with me is that stigma is what is killing HIV. Positive folks. More than anything. Issues like homophobia, structural racism and access to health care in the United States are huge barriers for people to feel safe in accessing treatment, to become undetectable.
Being diagnosed with HIV does not mean living a life of isolation or shame. You can live a involved, healthy, long and thriving life. You can follow Dimitri at Dimitri Mois official as always a full transcript of the episode, along with citations can be found on my website. All those links are available in the show notes. See you out there.
References
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