Family Chat: Morning Routines, Finding Your Self Help Toolbox and Giving Great Advice with My Mom, Jasmin Almonte
In this episode, I talk with my mom, Jasmin Almonte -- my first home, my first friend, my North Star. Her advice is one-of-a-kind and I can't wait to share it with you.
Summary
In a podcast episode, Taylor Rae and her mother, Jasmin Almonte, shared personal experiences, life lessons, and views on well-being. Jasmin detailed her life journey from being a hairdresser in South Bronx, New York, to becoming a teacher in Puerto Rico and how she finds purpose and joy in her work. She highlighted the importance of spirituality and reflective practices in guiding others. Almonte also explained her morning routine, emphasizing gratitude, reading, and journaling, discouraging the use of electronic devices to start the day. She further stressed the importance of emotional self-care, accepting difficult days, and respecting individual peace-finding methods. The conversation also touched on external pressure from social media, the importance of internal validation, and the idea that everyone has their unique activities or “thing” contributing to well-being. Despite not being a fan of them, daily affirmation cards are used as a part of the speaker's routine. The conversation ended with an announcement of a future episode.
Key Moments
Introduction, Meeting Mom (00:00:05 - 00:16:01)
Taylor Rae hosted a podcast episode with her mother, Jasmin Almonte, where they discussed their personal experiences, relationships, and life lessons. Jasmin shared her upbringing in the South Bronx, New York, and her later move to Puerto Rico. She discussed her transition from working as a hairdresser for 20 years to becoming a teacher and working with kids, emphasizing that her work brings her joy and is her life purpose. Almonte acknowledged the importance of having a purpose, described her advice-giving role in Taylor’s friend circle, and attributed her ability to guide others to her strong spirituality and reflective practices.Morning Routine, Journaling, Self-reflection(00:16:01 - 00:18:54)
Jasmin starts her day with positivity and gratitude, getting out of bed and heading to their serene home environment, which she believes is key for peace. Here routine consists of journaling and reflecting at their kitchen table over a cup of coffee, which she finds cleansing. She emphasizes the importance of emotional self-care, such as addressing and releasing concerns to start the day fresh. She believes in the importance of capturing one's thoughts which can be challenging but becomes easier over time. She also shares the fact that it's okay to have difficult days as it's critical to show grace to oneself. Even for those who engage differently, such as a friend who finds peace through interaction with nature instead of prayer or journaling, the speaker respects diversity in connecting with oneself.Social Media,Self-Expression, Age Perspective (00:18:54 - 00:21:59)
The conversation revolves around personal fulfillment, happiness, and the pressure of social media. The speakers discuss how 'your thing', which could be any activity like walking in nature, writing poetry or listening to music, contributes to one's well-being. There is an emphasis on internal validation over external standards, possibly influenced by social media. They also discuss the importance of understanding that it's okay not to be okay and that everyone has different ways to find their peace. Jasmin shares they are less influenced by social media due to their age and have realized its lack of true importance. The conversation concludes with an announcement of a follow-up episode.
TranscriptION
Taylor Rae Almonte-Roman
Welcome back. It's me, Taylor Rae. And today I have my mom on another episode of “On the Outside”. Today, we have another family chat and I'm super excited to bring you this conversation between me and my mom, Jasmine Almonte. My mom is my go to person for advice, for guidance, for help. She's the person I asked to double check if I'm right about something, if I'm wrong about something. And she actually has sat through every paper I've ever written from elementary school through grad school. I read her all of my essays including 20 page papers. She's here for it. She is my first teacher advocate and just my absolute champion in our conversation. Today, you're gonna get some tips, some wisdom from my mother. She's going to talk to you about her morning routine, which is so elite.
If I could start my day like my mom did, I would really be in amazing shape. She talks about her morning routine. You get to know her a little bit better through our conversation and you see why I am who I am because I got it all from my mama. I'm so thrilled to bring our conversation. So, why don't we get into it? Ok.
Taylor Rae Almonte-Roman
Mom, I'm so happy to have you on the podcast today and I'm so happy to be here. Anyone that listens to this podcast or knows me at all in any capacity knows that I talk about you all the time because we're best friends. Absolutely. And, but we weren't always absolutely best friends. I feel like we always got along, but we've gotten closer and closer. The older that I've gotten to the point that now we're obsessed with each other.
I agree and I love that for us. So this episode, I really just want the audience to get to know you a little bit more. And yeah, just talk about your story. So let's start at the beginning. Let's start at the beginning just like where you grew up and what your childhood was like.
Jasmin Almonte
Well, I grew up in the South Bronx in New York, born in Puerto Rico. My childhood was really great. I mean, I had, I have two sisters, a brother, mom and dad. We lived in the projects, love the projects. That was my home and grew up in a predominantly Hispanic black area. Our neighborhood was very community vibes, very supportive.
Yeah, great friends. I have really good memories of my childhood as far as feeling that I belonged and that it felt like home. I never felt like an outsider living in New York in the Bronx and my friends and family. And so overall really good.
Taylor Rae Almonte-Roman
And I think that's also why I always wanted to move to New York as a kid because I didn't really feel super included. And I know you had that experience and I was like, oh when I moved to New York, everything's gonna be perfect. It wasn't perfect. But I did, I do love living in New York. OK, so at 14, right, you moved back to Puerto Rico?
Yes, I moved to Puerto Rico right before my 15th birthday. Again, it was totally different because it was an island. I wasn't living in a city anymore. Leaving all my friends behind and you spoke Spanish already. I did we spoke Spanish at home. Everything else, school friends was all English. I did have Hispanic friends but we didn't really speak Spanish for some reason.
Jasmin Almonte
It was something we did at home. But I spoke both languages, always Spanish and English. I even read some Spanish. my mom, you know, there would be newspapers and things around the house in Spanish and I did learn some Spanish as well. But I moved to Puerto Rico and it was a big change, but it was a good change because again, I was surrounded with people that made me feel very much a part of as well as having family.
Great grandmother right next door, cousins, aunts, uncles, my cousins became my best friends. I had my grandfather out there so family that I usually didn't get to see I was able to have relationships with and school was so different from school in New York. So I actually learned to embrace it pretty quick. And, yeah, it was good.
I think that a huge part of, I mean, as long as when I was, when you first had me, you weren't a teacher or like working with kids, you were working as a hairdresser. Yes. But my, like most of my life, I've known you as someone that works with kids and is like, always around kids.
I was so young when you made that like, change. I actually have a memory though of you on the phone, like quitting from working at your hair salon. Like I remember you doing that. But what was that like for you? Like making that change? You know, change for me was something that I was never comfortable with, having Children really does change your life for sure. And I was a hairdresser in New York for 20 years and loved it. And once I moved to New Jersey from New York, I got married and when, once I had you, of course, obsessed with my child and wanted to make sure you were safe.
I of course, started doing volunteer work with Children. Never worked with Children in my life, hairdresser all my life, but wanted to kind of be nosy and find out what was going on in your classroom and what was going on in your school. So as soon as you went into kindergarten, I started becoming a volunteer and working with kids. And your dad actually said something super smart when he said you actually enjoy your volunteer work more than your job.
And I said, wow, he's right. I do. Maybe I should work with kids. So that's how that started. Was it? Scary? Change is always scary. But I felt so much joy in my volunteer work again. I didn't know if it was gonna work. I knew it was gonna be good for me because I, I did feel a lot of joy volunteering. So it was just a matter of taking a leap of faith and I knew it was time to hang up my scissors and stop cutting hair and, you know, it was a new chapter. Yeah.
And as a teacher now you taught preschool kindergarten, but you've also worked with like babies and you've also worked with like older kids, right? Yeah.
Yes. Well, working for pal and then Y MC A, I worked with school age kids which included from kindergarten all the way to middle school or junior high school, like we say in New York. And then working at a preschool, they actually put me with infants, which I never worked with but I was a mom so I said, I know I could do this so I did work with infants.
I am a preschool teacher. I do pre k, preschool, 3 to 5 year olds. and I love it and then in the summer I get to work with the older kids, which again are school age, you know, 4th, 5th graders. I really don't have a preference. I just love kids in general. Yeah. I mean, it's definitely my purpose to work with Children.
Yeah. Something that you said to me. I don't even know when, but you were saying, like, some people have a job and some people have work and that you're so lucky that your job is your work. Right? Like, it's like a job might be something that you do to make money, but your work might be something that feels like your purpose.
Taylor Rae Almonte-Roman
But you get to do both, like, all in one because your job is where you kind of go to make a living.
Jasmin Almonte
We all need to have a job and I think of work equivalent to your purpose. So you have to bring your purpose to your job, regardless, whatever you do for a living because having a purpose is the whole reason why you get up in the morning, you know, so I can't imagine not having a purpose. So that's why the job and purpose thing.
But in all fairness. I did hear a TED talk on purpose and work and, you know, that was kind of life changing for me because it really hit the nail on the head. It kind of explained the way I felt and someone put it in words that I was like, yes, that's, that's exactly what I'm doing.
So, yeah, as my mom, I think all of like, even when we were having our engagement party and all of my friends were like going to meet you. They were like, I feel like you had a people, like people were lining up to get advice from you, like you were seated somewhere and all my friends were like lining up to like talk to you or get advice from you. And one of my friends was like, she's our mom now, like she's the group mom.
Taylor Rae Almonte-Roman
I feel like you're going to cry!
I don't know, where do you find it to like, be so giving with like your advice and like just being so open to listen to people and so open to, I don't know, I feel like you really see people, like people really feel seen by you.
You know what I really, you know that my, my spirituality is key and it's really the center of my core. So I think that I always pray for guidance. Say the right words to the right people. Everybody doesn't need the same thing. I don't always have the answers. I have learned to be a better listener sometimes that's what people need someone to listen.
Life experience, definitely, you know, people, sometimes I just connect because been there, done that. And people that are important to you are important to me. So that helps that your friends if they come to me, you know, I feel like, you know, they're, they're an extension of you. because you have a family outside of your family and I know your circle is very important. So, and I, you know, I've always had, I think it's just something I was kind of like, I don't know if it's the way I
was raised. I know my mother was the one that all my friends went to. I didn't handle it as well as you did. It used to make me very jealous. My friends would ask me like, is your mom home? Because I need to talk to her. And I was like, hello? Like, you're my friend, not my mom's. Why are you asking for my mom? You're really good with sharing me.
I feel, well, I know I'm your favorite.
Well, that's for sure as I was my mom's.
But I, but yeah, I feel like I don't, I feel like so safe and secure that I'm like your favorite person ever.
So I'm like, yeah, and I, I, you know, and I'm happy to hear that. But, yeah, I think also watching. Yeah. Absolutely. And watching my mom, I didn't realize at the time because there's so much that you go through in life that you don't realize how it comes back full circle. But watching my mom giving my friends advice and admiring that in her actually might have planted seeds. Yeah, because you plant seeds and, you know, sometimes they don't flourish till later on in life for sure.
So, yeah, when I think about you, there's a few things that come to mind. Obviously, one, you being my mom, two, you being a teacher or working with kids? Three, your Yeah, spirituality and just like all of these practices that you have that keep you really grounded. And for me that is like going to therapy, working out, talking a lot about my feelings all the time to anyone that I have a relationship with.
But I, as you know, like I really struggle with cultivating that morning routine, journaling, like doing those things on my own. And I don't know, I feel like you really have it down. So did, were you always like that or like how I know you don't have the exact same morning routine, like every day. But for the most part, like, what does it look like?
Taylor Rae Almonte-Roman
Like on the, on the best day?
Jasmin Almonte
Yeah. My, my morning routine. I've always had to find a way to sense for myself even as a young teenager. I started really journaling, didn't know that it was called journaling back then when I was probably 1213 years old. But I used to write on my calendar. I used to look for lines, paper and write on it. And what I was doing was kind of writing my feelings.
It wasn't a dear diary. It was almost like I needed to cleanse myself. Kind of a, a cleansing of starting a new day. It was something that I didn't realize how much I was gonna embrace later on in life. But mornings I've become such a morning person throughout my life because it's a new start. It's like a clean slate. Everything's fresh, everything from the day before is gone.
It's in the past and that always gave me like a feeling of renewal and just kind of like, like hope a new start. It's all about hope and that's really key. You're right. So, I, I mean, I started journaling a million years ago. I feel like I can't remember a time writing for me has always been my tool. That's, you know, I always tell you, you know, whenever you tell me something that you say, you know what mom that really helps me.
And I said you need to pull that, put that in your toolbox because I feel like that's what we do, the things that work for us. We don't realize how much we're gonna need them throughout our life. And I was lucky enough to realize that writing was a tool that really helped me. And as time went by reading, went along with that. My sister, my older sister taught me the passion of reading and writing at a very young age.
And I realized that words in books, not only took me to different places but also inspired me. So whether it was poetry or a story. So, yeah, writing and reading to this day are very much the core of what helps me align myself for a new day.
So what does that like? Yeah, like water take me through like the morning, like all the different things that you OK, my mo that you like love to do.
Ideally, my morning is kind of, you know, routine very much. So get up in the morning as soon as I open my eyes at the crack of dawn as soon as I Yes, I am a morning person, which is funny because, you know, I used to club and stay out late and get home the next morning when I was a New Yorker and lived a single life, of course. But my life for a long time has been opened, my eyes first thing in the morning, like six o'clock, grateful for a new day.
Immediately come, go to a place of gratitude. That is key because if what you put in your minds and how you wake up in the morning You don't wanna start grabbing your phone and looking at emails and looking at social media or letting negativity go into your mind. You don't give it a chance because you're gonna plant this on purpose for a purpose.
Jasmin Almonte
So you're not going to give it an opportunity to sneak into your mind. So you immediately go to a place of gratitude. Thank you God New Day. So happy that you know, I have this opportunity to start fresh. I jump out of bed because I do. I'm excited. I'm one of those weird people that's excited to actually get out of bed and I go to my kitchen, love my home.
Very important. Your environment, your home environment where you live, it has to be a place that makes you feel serene and peaceful that for me is so key. My place of I call it prayer, journaling, cleansing is the kitchen table. Everyone has their place. That's my nook kitchen table, my cup of coffee, my journal, pen and hands ready for the world.
That's how I start. And then I just start to, I don't want to use the word purge, but I start to cleanse in the sense of, you know, and you could start that however you want. But I started with thank you God for a new day and I like to write maybe things that stayed on my mind. What did you wake up thinking of? What concerns do you have concerns are very important because you wanna get those out of the way.
You don't wanna be concerned about anything. You wanna surrender it, you wanna release it. Once you surrender something, you can't worry about it again because you've sur it so you don't get it back. We're only human. Of course, we have our minds. The renewal of the minds is really my goal to renew that mind daily because our thoughts are really what show how we move in the world and how we move throughout the day.
So captivating our thoughts is very difficult. But the more you do it, the more it becomes the norm. I mean, I'm 63 years old. I like to believe I started doing this probably at a very young age and throughout my life, some days of course, are better than others. Your best is not always gonna be the same, but it's always good enough and you have to give yourself some grace and all that.
Taylor Rae Almonte-Roman
Yeah. Yeah.
Taylor Rae Almonte-Roman
That was good mom.
Jasmin Almonte
Because I'm passionate about that.
Taylor Rae Almonte-Roman
No, you're such a morning girl. I, I mean, I do, I try to implement all of the things that you said. It's so hard.
Taylor Rae Almonte-Roman
I wake up and I grab my phone like a little demon and writes and it's a rough start to the day, but it's a rough start. It is, you know, and it always like, I'm not doing that anymore.
Taylor Rae Almonte-Roman
I'm not freaking doing that anymore.
Jasmin Almonte
Yeah. It really, it really is. and journaling doesn't have to be your thing. You know, I have a friend that does not pray. She tells me, I don't pray. Jasmine. I don't really, you know, have this God that I pray to and I don't, I don't journal but she is one of the most centered people that I know and I admire her and I think that her prayer, which she doesn't realize is nature. She walks, she kayaks, she has a canoe, she goes fishing.
Who does that? Who goes bird watching? Who goes? Hello? Who are you? You know, it's like, what? And you know, nature walking. It could be, it doesn't have to be my thing. It could be your own thing. It could be music, it could be listening to music, writing poetry, it could be, you know, a podcast. Your thing could be.
Taylor Rae Almonte-Roman
I think it's really hard. Last time. I saw you, it was really funny. We were talking about like our morning routine and I had these like daily affirmation cards. I remember I told you I don't even like these. I was like, I literally use them every day and I don't even like them and I think they're dumb and you were like, stop using them. Yes. But you see, I think especially with social media and as that's on social media, you see these morning routines that it's like first I do this and
then I do that and then I do this and like, this is how I'm so centered and I'm like, oh, I wanna do that but it, it really feels like what you're talking about is not like something external that you put on.
Taylor Rae Almonte-Roman
It's something that's internal that you bring out and that, that is exactly what it is.
That is not what I found. I find something on the outside that I'm like, OK, let me put that on myself and try to be that versus something inside that I'm like, OK, let me just like manifest what's already in there. And I think that's what we all got to work on.
Jasmin Almonte
You know, we hear this thing of the answer is always been inside of you. The answer is within and it always sounds so like what? But it really is, it's, it's in there. It's, and, and you're doing a lot of, I mean, ii I believe you're walking in your purpose daily. I mean, that's just a given. I, I see it. And my thing doesn't have to be your thing by no means and maybe it's because of my age that I don't get caught up and I'm not on social media.
I mean, I look at social media, I, you know, look at Instagram and all that stuff and of course my, my daughter, my youtube and your everything. but at the same time, it doesn't dictate my life because you know what, as you get older, you realize how unimportant all of that really is. At the end of the day, we just don't get it, you know, and I get it when I was your age. I believe me. And by no means think that I got it all together and I got it, you know, 24 7 every day of the week.
Absolutely not because we're all only human, but at least I know where to find my place of rest and to allow myself that. And I know we all hear it's ok not to be ok. And it's like, oh my God, everybody says that, but it really is. We're not always gonna be, some days are better than others, like I said, and your best is not always gonna look the same. And that's ok.
Taylor Rae Almonte-Roman
What a great conversation. My mom is going to be back next week for another episode packed with so much wisdom. Once again. Thank you for being here. See you out there.
